The Fate of HB1782

In our December 8th announcement for the legislative preview meetup with Futurewise, we stated: “Last session, statewide zoning reform unfortunately died in the state house, failing to make it out of Chair Gerry Pollet’s Local Government Committee.” This was incorrect in that the bill indeed made it out of the committee.

Rep. Gerry Pollet (Zero #3) sent along a feisty email demanding a correction: “This is easily tracked if you understand the basics of following legislation or reporting on the Legislature. I don’t think this is the first time that you have repeated this erroneous statement, which is easily fact checked.”

The offending line should have read: “Pollet steered the bill through his committee, only after gutting it to his own parameters saying it was necessary to get the votes and avoid angering powerful stakeholders — which include the Realtors lobby and municipalities who want to sell climate destroying McMansions under the guise of ‘local control.’ The bill subsequently failed to make it to a floor vote.”

We regret the error. By the way, in the upcoming session, the Democratic caucus has elected to install Rep. Davina Duerr as chair of the Local Government Committee and shuffled Pollet out of the committee. We regret that didn’t happen sooner.

The Omission of Alternative 6

Sometimes it is difficult to be optimistic, particularly in the face of relentless bureaucratic inertia. When we first reviewed the alternatives put forth for the 2024 Major Update to Seattle’s Comprehensive Plan, we were pleasantly surprised by how Alternative 5 combined what was best about all the other proposed housing growth strategies and offered tweaks to boost that approach. But as guest contributor Ron Davis recently put it, all of the City’s options amounted to “settling for Seattle small.” 

Rather than compare Alternative 5 to the other strategies presented, we could have compared it to what our city really needs to confront its crises around housing affordabilty, environmental justice, and climate — a bigger, bolder strategy for growth. That emerged as Alternative 6, a vision first promoted by a coalition banded together by Share the Cities and supported by The Urbanist in our organization letter.

During the City’s multi-month comment period, Alternative 6 was highly popular with 40% of comments backing that vision — more than any other option, according to Share The Cities’ analysis. About two-thirds of comments backed either Alternative 5 or 6, with the small-ball approaches clearly less popular. The City’s Scoping Report makes it clear ‘going big’ was popular, but incongruently it proceeded to leave Alternative 6 out of the study and rejected feedback (including from The Urbanist) to add at least sixplex base zoning across residential areas at a bare minimum. Pro-housing comments might have dominated the City’s public engagement hub, but they are not the voices that Mayor Bruce Harrell seems inclined to listen to.

Still, it’s exciting to see that energy continues to build around implementing a bolder housing growth strategy. Earlier this month, Councilmember Teresa Mosequeda (At-Large) came out strongly for an Alternative 6 in initial council discussions of the Comp Plan. We applaud her for taking on the cause and are eager to see how the conversation around the Comprehensive Plan develops over the coming year. The Comp Plan should boldly go big.

We regret, for now, Alternative 6 remains omitted from Seattle’s comp plan study. Hopefully not for long as all of us learn to dream a bit bigger when it comes to ending the housing crisis and staving off climate catastrophe.

Howard Schultz is a Union Buster and his coffee is awful

A search of The Urbanist’s writing over the past year reveals that returning Starbucks CEO and serial self-serving memoirist Howard Schultz was mentioned only twice, both times in reference to the fact he owned the Sonics and flipped them to new owners like a rundown shack being low-bid gutted for YouTube likes. 

As returning, retiring, returning, retiring CEO of one of the Fortune 500 corporations headquartered in the region, Schultz should have appeared in print here more frequently. Specifically, we should regularly talk about how his return has produced a series of maneuvers intent on stopping the unionization of Starbucks employees by closing union shops and punishing employees through access to gender affirming health care. However, we will resist the urge to run the pandering stories about how unions hurt Howard’s feelings. Union busters don’t like being called union busters, apparently something that bears mention in the country’s business pages. Perhaps his coffee would improve with better working conditions.

We regret the omission.

Expecting more light rail stops to open in 2023 

Through mid-summer 2022, we were anticipating the next year would be our opportunity to be whisked back and forth across Lake Washington on beautiful, climate controlled, light rail. Our days were full of dreams about a 2023 full of easy connections between East and West Sides of the lake, with stops in Mercer Island just to loiter and piss off the locals. 

Then, like a pall of wildfire smoke, the summer air descended on our anticipations as reports started coming in about the most deadly of threats to multi-billion dollar transit projects: concrete. First there was the concrete strike. Then there was concrete wonkiness on the I-90 bridge. Finally, there was concrete testimony before the Sound Transit board. East Link will not fully open in 2023. 

While not technically an error, we regret being quite that optimistic.

Sonics Stans are Stunted

In September, a survey of the landscape around Climate Pledge Arena found it wasn’t quite ready for a second nighttime winter sports team. Part of the reason is the area could use a few more bars and restaurants to absorb the crush of fans, as well as finish promised transit improvements to move them in and out.

Alluded to was the fact that a segment of the population is still dealing with the emotional toll of being abandoned by a billion-dollar entertainment corporation. Some fans are still feeling jilted about the Sonics’ move to Oklahoma City and have been toxic to getting a new team.

In response, those exact fans provided quite a bit of evidence that the Superfund cleanup of their emotional baggage hasn’t advanced very far. Messages ranged from “who the hell are you to say we’re not ready?!?” through “get on the bandwagon for a team or get ready to be under it.” 

The statement calling out these anti-fans should have been more direct. “When the Sonics left, there was a gaping hole in the community. Many have dealt with their grief and found other pastimes. The people who have not are also the most likely to brigade and harass anyone with an opposing view. Seattle should not get a team until a specific group of stilted fans collectively receive extensive professional counseling for their grief and abandonment issues.” 

We regret the omission.

The post The Urbanist’s Corrections and Regrets 2022 first appeared on The Urbanist.

But our fine city of Seattle has been the brunt of some quality comedy and satire over the years. Here’s a couple of the best. Let this serve as a reminder that Seattle’s got a lot to laugh at when we’re not being too serious about ourselves. And be wary (warier) of what you read today. 

Almost Live

Seattle’s early 90’s talk show/sketch comedy produced canned bits that landed solid punches on neighborhood stereotypes. They’re awkward and biting in a way that only a loving local could write. They produced the infamous “Space Needle Collapses” prank for April Fools’ 1989. Today, the skits are mostly seen in the comments sections of Facebook Neighborhood groups to illustrate how the city has gone downhill since such good old days.

The Beaverton

As Canada’s leading disperser of quality castor oil and occasional satire, The Beaverton has dinged Seattle a few times. It’s mostly issues call-outs to our largest figures, taking casual swings at Starbucks or Amazon. But our friends to the north do it best when they stick to their wheelhouse: hockey.

Babylon Bee

The joke is on anyone who believes Babylon Bee is funny. Really just tiki torches and khakis with a Friends laugh track. Moving on.

The Onion

At this point, having been once printed on physical paper, it’s The Old Gray Lady of satirical comedy. In all that time, The Onion perfected one thing better than everyone else. They hit running gags. From Uncle Joe Biden to the quasi-demonic royal child, The Onion can return to the same exhausted vein and find something new to exploit. Which is exactly the theme of their Amazon coverage.

Parts Unknown

Interesting thing about reading a lot of Seattle-targeting satire is how it neatly packs into a couple themes. Computers, killers, and cannabis, which is exactly the script of Anthony Bourdain’s Seattle visit for his food tour show. The tropes are wrapped in a very well photographed and movingly scored outfit, but they’re still tropes. The upshot of the entire episode is a lazy caricature of the city. He gives us kudos as a food town, something most residents don’t. But Bourdain’s constant returns to techbros, weed, the Green River Killer, and a weirdly impassioned rant about coffee doesn’t veer far from many others on this list.

Horsey

The Seattle Times has an opinion cartoonist on staff that is the pinnacle of oblivious satire. David Horsey pitches a lot of right down the middle boomer takes that aren’t out of place in r/forwardsfromklandma. The best is when he accidentally skewers his own employers, like his recent missive about overpriced housing. It’s not like Horsey’s corporate overlords sold their old building to developers for three times its assessed value.

The Daily Show

Before it became a cultural fixture and Jon Stewart grew into his collars, The Daily Show did a lot more on-the-scene interviews. It’s our loss that their camera doesn’t get pointed at squirmy officials and oblivious CEOs nearly as often. Seattle showed up in a few episodes. Fair number of jokes at the expense of Bill Gates and the Seahawks. But really, nothing gets to the city’s id closer than Bumvertising.

The Needling

Of course, we did save the best for last. Over the past year and change, The Needling has come into its own with some quality headlines that cut straight to the bone. They parcel out roasts from Yakima (actually nothing like Palm Springs) to Oklahoma City (already home of the Kraken). But local electeds get the hottest end of the poker, and we’re all better for it.

The post Joke’s On You, Seattle! first appeared on The Urbanist.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Twelve thousand units social housing
Eleven pipefitters piping
Ten lords we’re taxing
Nine progressive councilmembers
Eight new urban villages
Seven streets a-pedestrianizing
Six bus lanes a-laying
Five road diets
Fourplexes a-sprouting
Three streetcars
Two light rails
And a bullet train in Cascadia

And a bullet train in Cascadia

And a bullet train in Cascadia…

The post Urbanist 12 Days of Christmas Wishlist first appeared on The Urbanist.

“GAH! Me money!” he said, as befuddled Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) workers looked on.

WSDOT chief Roger Millar quickly sprung to action to get to the bottom of this boondoggle and perhaps see if workers could inject some concrete into the money sinkhole to stop the leakage.

“The tunneling contract had nothing about money-grubbing ducks in it whatsoever,” Millar said. “We specified ‘please don’t hit any steel pipes.’ We thought the contractor knew to watch out for colossally greedy waterfowl.”

Will the public get the highway they were promised for their billions of tax dollars? Instead of a 9,270-foot tunnel, it appears the city ended up with an impressively cavernous but admittedly stubby gold-hoarding lair. Secretary Millar could only deflect at this sensitive moment.

“We love highways–we really, really love highways,” Millar said. “We really want to bring you another one.”

Patience, however, seemed to be wearing thin though after the latest snafu.

“We paid four billion dollars for this?” a local bystander said.

“This Duck Can Code”

Meanwhile, the contractor, Seattle Tunneling Partners, seemed equally confused.

“You know, we carefully programmed the tunnel-boring machine and sent it on its way confident it would carve a tunnel through the city’s nether regions, but I guess this duck can code,” a spokesperson said.

It appears the reports of Bertha’s tunneling progress had been ingeniously fabricated by the duck.

Fifth Richest Man/Duck In Seattle

Seattle bean counters estimate the duck burst on the scene as the state’s fifth wealthiest billionaire thanks to absorbing the four billion dollar Bertha budget into its money pit. Analysis of the money pit revealed it was actually much larger in scope. The Washington State Budget Office’s working hypothesis is that the duck has somehow been siphoning funds from other WSDOT projects, such as the $4.65 billion SR-520 bridge replacement. The greedy duck still has a long way to go to catch Bill Gates ($86 billion) and Jeff Bezos ($75.6 billion)–who are the world’s two wealthiest people–but as Forbes magazine was quick to point out, neither of them have a giant money pit mainlining into WSDOT’s ever-expanding highway budget.

A special task force convened by Mayor Ed Murray to deal with the duck crisis had initially hoped that the duck could be lured to Mercer Island to nest near others with similar money-accumulating acumen such as Paul Allen and his $18 billion horde. The task force discussed using Medina, which is home to Gates and Bezos, as a lure if the duck proved sufficiently wealthy. Luring the duck away would allow the highway tunnel to be plowed through the lair. So far, the duck has been obstinate that his money pit is located just where he wants and where the most money will be thrown into it.

“Foie Gras Is On The Menu Tonight, People”

With the lure to Mercer Island strategy stalled, the task force turned to the culinary world for a solution.

“Based on my task force’s recommendation, I’ve tasked world-renowned Seattle-based chef Tom Douglas with leading the hunt,” Mayor Murray said. “He’s going to catch this duck and make him pay. Foie gras is on the menu tonight, people.”

Seattle foodies did have some questions. Had Murray considered all the options? Were lower-profile chefs perhaps more up to capturing, torturing via force feeding, and roasting this bird to perfection?  Is Douglas the best chef to roast this duck?

“You can read the 65-page report and see for yourself why this is the best solution,” Mayor Murray said. “Tom’s five-spice duck recipe is both delicious and the only way forward for this city.”

How exactly the duck was able to hi-jack the tunnel-boring machine and turn it into a lair-boring machine is still under investigation. The machine dubbed Bertha is named after the one and only female mayor in Seattle history, Bertha Knight Landes, who held office from 1926 to 1928. A local pundit presented an alternate hypothesis for the tunnel hi-jinx.

“So they named it after the only female mayor? After 56 male mayors they name the biggest boondoggle in city history after the one female mayor in that epic sausage fest? No, no, no. This is an elaborate plan to discredit female leadership in the self-declared most progressive city ever. We must fight back against this smearing. Henceforth, I will call this ill-fated machine the Ed Murraymobile in honor of its creator, legislatively speaking. I thank the duck for exposing the patriarchy.”

The post Bertha Holes Through Revealing Scrooge McDuck’s Lair first appeared on The Urbanist.

Sure, Bainbridge already has a ferry to Seattle. But let’s face it, ferries are old school and slow while 21st century lifestyles are fast and self-gratifying. The ferry takes 35 minutes, and from there driving to the region’s real job center, Bellevue, is another 20 minutes on the best days. This is a total of 55 minutes. To achieve an astounding 25-minute commute, this baby is going to need to be an elevated, double decker, six-lane expressway between a high end residential enclave and a high end commercial enclave. Go big or go home. And as they say, the best transportation plan has something to do with land uses.

The total addition is nine miles. Crossing Puget Sound will require a 3.5-mile long bridge or tunnel. I’d opt for the bridge option since it’d look cool and would be easier to build, considering our recent highway tunnel efforts. If anyone cares about cargo and cruise ships, I guess part of it would probably need to be a suspension bridge to get to the required height, but most of the bridge could be floating. Thankfully, our state transportation department is really great at building floating bridges. After reaching Seattle, the freeway would need to demolish a few houses, span across the Interbay valley with another bridge, and then cross Lake Union with a third bridge.

I’m starting to see a theme here. The project could be called the “Bainbridge to Bellevue Bridges”, or BBB, the same acronym as the Better Business Bureau. And this project would certainly be better for business.

For good measure, we can throw in some sidewalks and a couple of bike lanes for the foolhardy souls who think traveling without a 3,000 pound friend is fun. But, it would be a long trek across the bridge, so a Starbucks in the center of the span would be a good resting point. Indeed, the coffee chain would probably be willing to engage in a public-private partnership to help build the project and may even chip in funding. We could also readily hand the reins to a private company to toll this thing for us, because we know what a stellar record that has in Washington.

And fear not, transit advocates. Buses would be free to use the bridge and come and go as they please! But giving them their own lanes would surely be an excessive waste of public funds, considering that bus riders pay no taxes whatsoever. And don’t even think about light rail. Sound Transit would need to first do a seven-year environmental study and then take another 15 years to build anything. Don’t you know autonomous vehicles will make transit obsolete by then?

And let’s not worry about maintenance funding. That’s something for future generations to debate. Repaving road decks and checking for cracks doesn’t merit sexy ribbon-cutting ceremonies, and ribbon-cutting is all that really matters to voters.

While the BBB may be visionary, our forefathers envisioned an even grander scheme in which a similar route would not only extend to Bainbridge Island, but beyond to Bremerton and the Kitsap Peninsula. The BBB will finally fulfill that vision after 60 years. Coincidentally, there are also plans in the works for building a similar freeway from Alki Point to the southern end of Bainbridge Island that would also fulfill an old dream. And a strapping state legislator from the Kitsap Peninsula has proposed an ingenious bridge built of aircraft carriers to span the Sinclair Inlet between Port Orchard and Bremerton. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it first.

Our region is growing, and there are dollars to be made with shady contracts and moving freight or whatever. We need to drive from point A to all of the other points today and without delay, and the BBB will build upon our constitutional right to Level of Service A. Contact your legislators now and tell them to build a more convenient commute through whatever pesky neighborhoods and precious marine habitats stand in the way. Today we can demand that the transportation of tomorrow be nothing more than the freeways of yesterday.

Happy April Fools’ from everyone here at The Urbanist.This article is a cross-post from The Northwest Urbanist.

The post Introducing The Bainbridge-Bellevue Freeway: Bridge To Somewhere first appeared on The Urbanist.

Beyond wear and tear, there are further issues with pedestrians. If you’re a motorist, you are likely familiar with the common problem of pedestrians impeding your right-of-way, crossing against the light or jaywalking. Not only do the seconds lost from these activities likely add up to minutes, but everyone bears the cost of healthcare for scofflaw pedestrians. The benefits from licensing pedestrians is bigger than helping solve these problems though. If every pedestrian is licensed, it will finally be possible to require all pedestrians to hold walker insurance. This will mitigate the vast costs from things like drunk walking.

While licensing pedestrians may seem unusual, licensing for all types of things is common, especially transportation modes. As James Vesely points out at the Seattle Times, “Special licenses are not new. We license dogs, our cars, our boats, our motorcycles, our pleasures in hunting and fishing, as well as many other outdoor activities.” While the cost of all the undocumented pedestrians in Seattle is obvious, naysayers suggest that it would be impossible or unprofitable to implement. The CSSSPRSS has a plan though.

Implementing A Pedestrian Fee

Implementation would be relatively simple. Since all Seattle residents are potential pedestrians, Seattle Department of Transportation (SDOT) could send a letter out to each address in the city annually. Citizens would be required to reply to the letter stating how many people live in the house and return a small, $10 dollar fee for each pedestrian. In order to ensure enforcement, all citizens would have to return the fee unless they affirmatively petitioned the City and proved that they never used sidewalks. Upon receipt of the fee, the city would send a small license plate attached to a necklace back to the citizen. It would be necessary for each citizen to wear this while walking around so that the police could reasonably tell the difference between law-abiding, registered pedestrians and rule-breakers. This would be especially useful in situations like pedestrian critical mass, commonly seen around Westlake Mall during lunch time.

Unfortunately, pedestrians aren’t the only problem on our sidewalks. The especially egregious free-loaders are those that have pets and strollers. Strollers add to the wear and tear of our sidewalks. Since this is especially common in Ballard, it would be best to have an additional stroller fee in that neighborhood.

Lastly, Seattle hosts a lot of tourists who also aren’t paying their fair share. In order to ensure their contribution, it will be necessary to require all Seattle visitors to register with the SDOT and pay a small fee before they are allowed to use sidewalks. Many people might object that this would be confusing to tourists and it’s unlikely they would comply. On the contrary, it’s likely many people would hear about the law before coming to Seattle because it would be the only city in the country with this policy. If non-compliance became a problem, all the City would need to do is throw a few tourists in jail to make a point.

Take Action

CSSSPRSS points out that now is a unique opportunity for this novel solution. With the upcoming City Council elections in 2015, CSSSPRSS points out that Council will feel pressure if citizens take action. Considering the overwhelming power of the pedestrian lobby, it’s important to act diligently and timely. It’s likely there will be push-back from militant pedestrians. The most effective contribution you can make is to publicly support this initiative by notifying news affiliates. We encourage you to email the following media organizations.

tips@komo4news.com
nwnews@nwcn.com
newstips@king5.com
tips@q13fox.com

Suggested Email Text

Dear Media Organization,

I’m emailing to stand in strong support of pedestrian licensing in Seattle. While pedestrian licensing may seems strange, Jim Vesely (former Seattle Times editorial contributor), makes a strong logical argument for all types of licensing, “Special licenses are not new. We license dogs, our cars, our boats, our motorcycles, our pleasures in hunting and fishing, as well as many other outdoor activities.”

It is clear that Seattle has a sidewalk crisis. There aren’t enough sidewalks. They are in terrible disrepair. There are too many free-loading, scofflaw pedestrians. Requiring pedestrian licensing would help address the city’s budget problems, raise money for sidewalk maintenance, require everyone to pay their fair share and help the city track and punish pedestrians that break the law.

This issue hasn’t received enough coverage and I strongly encourage you to provide the time it deserves.

Regards,

Concerned Seattlite

The post Save Seattle: Tax, License & Insure Pedestrians first appeared on The Urbanist.